Dear Mom and Dad,
This letter is the hardest thing for me to write. I want you to know that above anything else, I respect and honor you and as I have lately discovered, even love you and Lily. Before you become upset at my choice of words, or rather the lack of precision, permit me to state exactly how I feel. This letter comes from my heart and not from some regulation or code that has been expected of me.
You see, Mom and Dad, I've changed quite a bit over the past year. You may have noticed that I keep more to myself and contribute little to our nightly conversations. You may even have heard my footsteps sneaking over to Gabriel's bed at night to comfort him. The thing is, I have had experiences and feelings in the course of my training of becoming a Giver which opened up new worlds of pleasure and pain. It is hard for you to understand exactly how the training could have changed me so much, but it did and I am now about to make a move that may cause you grief and sadness, perhaps even, dishonor. For this, I apologize and beg for your forgiveness.
Tomorrow, I intend to remove myself away from this Community. I have also decided to bring Gabriel along with me. I think deep down, you know why that Gabe has to follow me. I know what the Community has decided to do with him and I just simply can't let that happen. I have come to the stage where I believe strongly that only the individual can decide his own fate and that he alone should bear the consequences of his actions. This may sound very strange and disturbing to you, but given what I now know, I believe that this is the only cause of action available to me. Again, I wish for your kind understanding.
We shall be long gone by the time you read this letter. I am not at liberty to say where we are going, but I hope that you might find it in your hearts to give me some kind of head start before notifying the authorities. I realize that eventually, they send search parties for us. Knowing what I do know now, I can tell you that their mission is not to rescue us but to " release " both Gabriel and I. The elders are aware that I know too much and may imprison me for a long time before finally releasing me once they've selected an new Receiver-in-training. This fate to me, is worse than death itself. So, now, you know why I have to leave and don't wish to be found. I cannot return to this place anymore.
Yes, this place I once called home to me now, is nothing more than a prison. A prison for my body in which I have no say over anything at all. Worse, a prison for my mind in which nothing is real and all emotions are withheld. Do you know Mom and Dad, that without emotions, we are no longer able to perceive colors? Colors!! The world used to be a colorful place, full of reds, yellows and the brightest greens. Without emotions, we lack the need for freedom and options. Through the Giver, I have experienced the memories of the greatest joys and deepest sorrows. By my going, these memories will revert to the Community and it is then up to everyone to decide what to do with them. For the first time, each and everyone of us will be given a choice to do what is right for him or her. I sincerely believe that all of us are able to choose to do what is right. And by doing so, experience life to the fullest.
I have to go now. Know that I will be forever grateful to both of you for raising me up to be what I am today. You once said that you were ' proud ' of me and ' enjoyed ' me, but, here let me say that on my part, I love you both very much. I hope that one day, you will understand that this is something that I have to do. Maybe on that someday, we will meet again. And I hope that you will be just as proud of me as you once were.
Lastly, no matter what the future brings, do remember that my thoughts are always with you and Lily and that you have my undying gratitude. Goodbye..
Your son,
Jonas
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